01 September 2010

lavender blue, dilly dilly

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poorly lit photo of a birthday crown wip

last night i was working on a birthday crown, when i realized i hadn't any lavender floss. this crown has to match a capelet made by the talented pin pon, so my palette is set: orange, light orange, white, & lavender.

i knew that the color i needed was in the box of floss i'd brought back from my mother's home. until now though, i had not even considered using any of it. as it was, it took me a goodly bit of time to convince myself that it was ok to use a length of lavender.

you see, when i was in oregon, i only took a small box of her gigantic collection of embroidery floss. i honestly don't know why i didn't take it all; it just seemed right at the time, to take a bit as a remembrance. of course i'm kicking myself now. so, the floss has taken on a sort of sacred aura - to be fondled & hoarded. yes, i know i am being silly, but i imagine it's all part of dealing with the loss of my mother.

short story made long; i used a bit if her lavender floss on the crown. it did feel strange to do so. i remembered the countless times i saw her embroider, the gorgeous works of art she created, as well as the silly. my brother & i each had pillow made from our little jeans, with tush, stitched onto the pocket. & no, i don't still have mine :)

some of these memories brought with them a feeling of peace as i worked, others brought immeasurable sadness. i'm told by the (too many) friends who've lost mothers, that this will be the way of it. how ever does one get used to such things?

another poorly lit photo of the birthday crown wip
once i finished, the lavender floss went back into its box, & the whole was placed on its shelf in my sewing nook. that's her writing: 211. i miss her all the more when i see it.

a favorite song from my childhood, that is stuck in my head:


~peace.

8 comments:

woolies said...

Do you have something of your Mom's that you wear? I had a necklace, that I wore for so long that it finally just gave way...it made me feel closer to her. It helped, a lot, for a long time. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

That's so sad.
(hugs)

FairiesNest said...

That song makes me think of my mom. She always sang that to us when we were little. It's the little things that help us remember the ones we love and the way you write about using that bit of floss is such a sweet tribute to her. Lovely post Kat!

mrsbeccijo said...

(hug) I am glad you have moments of remembering and things that remind you of her. She sounds like she was a wonderful mother and I am sure that helped you become the wonderful and devoted mother that you are.
Beccijo

germandolls said...

I think your mom would want you to put it to good use! I am kicking myself for not taking some of her knitting needles. I really wish I had some of the tools she worked with.
When my mom was dying of cancer she was knitting bears bunnies for all the grandkids. I sleep with the ones she made for my kids...It gives me a measure of comfort and feeling that she is close by. Is that silly or what?

CurlyMonkey said...

I can totally relate...

kat said...

thank you, all.

i have the most amazing readers!!!

((((((((hugs)))))))))

Jen from SewnNatural said...

what a beautiful, touching post.

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