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| poorly lit photo of a birthday crown wip |
last night i was working on a birthday crown, when i realized i hadn't any lavender floss. this crown has to match a capelet made by the talented pin pon, so my palette is set: orange, light orange, white, & lavender.
i knew that the color i needed was in the box of floss i'd brought back from my mother's home. until now though, i had not even considered using any of it. as it was, it took me a goodly bit of time to convince myself that it was ok to use a length of lavender.
you see, when i was in oregon, i only took a small box of her gigantic collection of embroidery floss. i honestly don't know why i didn't take it all; it just seemed right at the time, to take a bit as a remembrance. of course i'm kicking myself now. so, the floss has taken on a sort of sacred aura - to be fondled & hoarded. yes, i know i am being silly, but i imagine it's all part of dealing with the loss of my mother.
short story made long; i used a bit if her lavender floss on the crown. it did feel strange to do so. i remembered the countless times i saw her embroider, the gorgeous works of art she created, as well as the silly. my brother & i each had pillow made from our little jeans, with tush, stitched onto the pocket. & no, i don't still have mine :)
some of these memories brought with them a feeling of peace as i worked, others brought immeasurable sadness. i'm told by the (too many) friends who've lost mothers, that this will be the way of it. how ever does one get used to such things?
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| another poorly lit photo of the birthday crown wip |
a favorite song from my childhood, that is stuck in my head:
~peace.
